Barbara Balldini:

“The trips to other people’s beds are over now”

Barbara Balldini stands for eroticism, sex education and lots of fun. The successful sex cabaret artist helps the nation on its feet, breaks taboos and calls a spade a spade. She is currently on tour in Styria - she told the "Krone" about her turbulent menopause.

KRONE: The new program "Flachgelegt" is about your experiences during the menopause. Have they changed you a lot?
Barbara Balldini: The hormone system turned my life upside down. I've become a different person and am no longer the same as I used to be. I'm no longer the vamp in suspenders and red high heels that makes men go crazy, crave and drool. Now I come on stage in flat shoes, prefer the spoon position and the lack of oestrogen has made me rounder.

The change has also happened in my private life. Why did you get married after many wild years?
That surprised me too. (laughs). I've been through a lot of ups and downs with Patrick over three decades and I wanted to be rewarded for that. It was actually a very practical consideration, because if one of us dies, the other shouldn't lose their pension. We experienced this with a deceased friend, where the children fought fiercely over the inheritance.

Who made the proposal?
Me. In times when people have become so selfish, I really appreciate our relationship. Even though it was never a great passion, I enjoy the quiet togetherness with my favorite person. My husband has bravely endured all these years and accepted my decades of escapades. The trips to other people's beds are now over. What I experienced there is enough for seven lifetimes anyway.

You've turned 60 now. Does sexuality also change with age?
Of course, but I still feel like a sexual being. A day without sex used to be a lost day for me. But after 30 years, you no longer have to act like a breeding bull. I know many women who have lost their libido with the change. I never thought it would happen to me. Sex at a mature age goes hand in hand with more rest and cuddling, has more intimacy instead of sexuality. It's different for men, as long as the prostate plays along (laughs).

Is there a recipe for a functioning relationship?
It's important to keep talking and be open to each other. The certain death of a relationship is jealousy, which has a lot to do with a lack of self-worth and the fear of abandonment. Those who truly love, indulge! That is the highest level of love. If I personally don't feel like having sex, then I don't have the right to restrict or forbid my partner's sexuality.

That contradicts every concept of fidelity in a good relationship.
As far as physical fidelity is concerned, people are too curious, too weak and at the mercy of many temptations. In my experience, women have overtaken men when it comes to cheating. 70 percent of all people in relationships are regularly on fling sites. I have many clients who are addicted to experiencing a certain desirability via these platforms.

Have you also tried these platforms?
Of course I have. I've had years of experience on Tinder & Co and met lots of men. It's easy if you're blonde and post a nice photo. However, I had the most interesting experience with the age thing. As long as I was under 50, many men, including young ones, wrote to me every day. As soon as I was over 50, no one was interested in me anymore.

Was it easier to meet the right partner in the past?
Definitely. All the pornography and dating sites have changed people a lot. Men always have the feeling that there is something better out there and women have become extremely demanding. It's all about size, character, status and money. But there is no ideal partner anywhere in the world. If you don't want to be constantly disappointed, it's better to look for happiness in love in the analog world.