"Schneider's glasses"

May devotions

Robert Schneider remembers how a few stinging nettles once caused a stir in his home village.

As is well known, several Christian festivals are celebrated in the month of May, which recently came to an end. For "Krone" columnist Robert Schneider, the ritual round dance brought back memories of a humorous episode from his childhood. 

It's like an old black-and-white movie. At the beginning of May, the women in our village tied bouquets of flowers and placed them on the side altar, the altar of the women's side. Back then, there was still a clear distinction between women and men. The world was binary. Anyone who didn't think so could stay in the center aisle. But nobody did that, as far as I can remember.

I remember much more the passionately fought competition to see which of the neighbors' wives placed the most beautiful and original meadow bouquet under the picture of the Virgin Mary, only to sink into malicious devotion when the evening rosary was prayed.

Once there was a lot of laughter, but even more trouble in the village. An anonymous person had placed a large bouquet of nettles in the middle of the flowers. This was now waiting to be worshipped for all to see. The women whispered among themselves that it was impertinent to compare the Blessed Virgin Mary with stinging nettles. Blasphemy, if not worse. The bouquet had to disappear from the altar immediately. People are no longer able to concentrate on the laws of the rosary. They were constantly miscounting. Nevertheless, no one had the courage to dispose of the weeds quietly and secretly.

From May devotion to May devotion, one could observe how the strange bouquet wandered around on the altar. Once an unknown, religiously very shaken hand had placed it behind the milk-white peonies to cover the eyesore, it was back in the front row shortly afterwards. This went on for the whole of May. After the last service, all the splendor flew onto the compost heap behind the church. The nettles were at the top.