Attention, satire!

We’re getting stoned afterwards

Cannabis use: following the Germans? Reflections of a satirist...(Bild: Steven Senne APA)

Why did we beat the Germans 2:0 in soccer if we now let them take such a cheap 1:0 lead in another area? The thorough, serious Germans, of all people, legalized cannabis before us and allowed hashish smoking.

So now it's not just a case of catching up, but also of leading the way. Cannabis consumption and possession should not only be permitted in Germany, it should be mandatory. Anyone caught without the 30 grams permitted for possession in Germany must do social work on farms.

"Mandatory smoking weed also makes it a little easier to ponder when you should be sane and when you should be fogged up," says satirist Gernot Kurz.(Bild: Kurz)

Compulsory smoking weed also makes it a little easier to ponder when you should be in your right mind and when you should be foggy. Of course, the workplace would be a good place to "fog up", but this could lead to conflicts within the workforce. Who is allowed to do the work with a grin on their face and who has to stay serious? The wrangling would be tougher than with vacation planning.

Driving would also be an option, but then there's the chicanery of the limit again. You're only allowed to have 3.5 nanograms of TCH in your blood, which would be 0.2 per mille when converted to alcohol. That's nothing.

It's certainly good for the social fabric. Cannabis clubs, so-called grow clubs, are already springing up. But it's about time the stuff found its way into allotment gardens. On the other hand, who knows what is already going on behind the lettuce facade.

Cannabis is said to be used by around 30 percent of Austrians at some point. Young people and adults. Once again, senior citizens are being completely forgotten, left alone with many questions, just like with digitalization. How the stuff affects the pacemaker and the like. On the other hand, they were fair enough not to set up no-go zones in front of retirement homes, as they did in front of schools and playgrounds.

But Austria is still a long way from approving it and there will still be discussions. Although the worst concerns have already been dispelled. According to research, cannabis is not considered a social drug. It is not part of our culture to smoke weed together, cannabis will not become the new popular drug, they say.

So don't worry: even if we smoke weed freely in the future, there will still be plenty of smoking.