Punch of the week

Repeat offender: AUVA General continues to clown around

AUVA Secretary General Alexander Bernart hides from the "Krone" in his glass ivory tower.(Bild: Reinhard Holl)

In the chaos surrounding the closure of Vienna's Lorenz Böhler Accident Hospital, AUVA Secretary General Alexander Bernart takes inspiration from China - also in terms of communication.

Containers are the solution to everything at the moment, it seems. If schools become too crowded, container classes are brought in. If a hospital is closed, a container clinic will open instead. If things go on like this, we will soon be living in containers, working in containers, eating in container restaurants and going to container museums. It won't be long before Vienna takes the next prize: as the world's most liveable freight station.

Chinese idea with AUVA's own time horizon
Following the chaotic plans to close the Lorenz Böhler Hospital, AUVA Director General Alexander Bernart is now turning to an idea from China to find a place for operations again: A container complex is to be built on the northwest railway site as a replacement, a kind of Lorenz Böhler in Tetris construction. During the coronavirus pandemic, the Chinese built a hospital of this type on 100,000 square meters - in eight days.

The Lorenz Böhler staff already have their own cost estimates for container solutions in their pockets.(Bild: zVg)

The Lorenz Böhler team has drawn up a plan and cost estimate for such a facility - the temporary hospital would be ready in nine weeks. It is not known whether Bernart is now personally buying up old office containers on Ebay and turning them into operating theatres at home with great attention to detail and passion, as the director needs until 2025 (!) for his prefabricated hospital.

"Communication didn't go as planned"
The AUVA's communication is also Chinese-influenced. Critical media such as the "Krone" are not invited to background discussions so as not to bother the Director General with annoying questions. Email inquiries to the boss in his glass ivory tower in Wienerbergstraße are apparently already answered by an AI: "We understand that not everything went as we would have liked in terms of communication." And: "One thing is clear: no urgently needed intervention will be postponed."

Of course, that's great that no worker has to treat the flesh wound on their leg with toothpicks for beef roulades and roasting strings on the kitchen table at home after a fall from the scaffolding. All this makes Bernart the Punch and Judy of the week for the second time. When asked on Ö1 whether all patients could still be operated on this year, the AUVA boss replied: "Yes, I think we can assume that we will manage." Sounds very confident.